Am I Experiencing Parental Alienation?

If you found this page from a search, you should congratulate yourself for taking this important first step and for already being aware of the term "parental alienation".

Custodial blocking from one parent or rejection from a child isn't always something that has obvious signs in advance. While there may exist clues, the reality is that most parents never imagine that the other parent would go out of their way to try to remove a child from the their life.

When there are signs of potential issues with access to a child, it's a good time to employ the Five-Factor Model for Determining Parental Alienation, to set the emotions aside for a few minutes to prioritize a scientific approach to help your children. 

For each of the (5) factors below, you will find questions you can ask yourself. Through your self-examination of these factors via the question examples, you may gain valuable insights. 

These questions are designed to help identify potential signs of parental alienation by examining changes in the parent-child relationship, the behavior of both parents, and the child's behavior and attitudes.

Factor 1: A Breach in the Relationship

1. When did you first notice a change in your child's behavior or attitude towards you?

2. Can you describe specific incidents where your child refused to spend time with you or communicate with you?

3. Have there been any significant events or changes in your child's life around the time the relationship began to deteriorate?

4. How does your child react when you try to discuss the issues between you two?

5. Have there been any periods where your relationship with your child improved, only to deteriorate again? If so, what were the circumstances?

Factor 2: A Prior Positive Relationship

1. Can you describe your relationship with your child before the current issues began?

2. What types of activities did you and your child enjoy together in the past?

3. How did your child typically respond to you when you provided guidance or discipline before the issues started?

4. Do you have any family photos, videos, or memories that highlight a positive relationship with your child?

5. How did your child speak about you to others before the relationship changed?

Factor 3: Absence of Abuse, Neglect, or Deficient Parenting

1. Have there been any accusations of abuse, neglect, or poor parenting against you? If so, what was the outcome?

2. How do you ensure your child's needs are met when they are in your care?

3. Have you ever sought or received feedback about your parenting from professionals (e.g., counselors, teachers)? What was their assessment?

4. Can you provide examples of your efforts to maintain a stable and supportive environment for your child?

5. How do you handle conflicts or disagreements with your child?

Factor 4: Evidence of Favoring Parent's Alienation Strategies

1. Have you noticed the other parent making negative comments about you in front of your child?

2. Do you believe the other parent has tried to limit or interfere with your contact or communication with your child?

3. Has your child ever mentioned things that suggest they have been given misleading or false information about you by the other parent?

4. Are there instances where the other parent has failed to inform you about important events or decisions regarding your child?

5. Do you have any evidence or examples of the other parent undermining your authority or role in your child's life?

Factor 5: Evidence of Child's Behavioral Manifestations of Alienation

1. How does your child express their feelings about you currently? Are their expressions of dislike or hatred sudden and intense?

2. Has your child made unfounded or exaggerated complaints about your behavior or actions?

3. Does your child show an unjustified alignment with the other parent, defending them unconditionally?

4. Have you noticed your child rejecting extended family members or friends associated with you?

5. Does your child seem to have difficulty recalling positive experiences or interactions they had with you?

If upon your reflection with these question examples you find that all 5 factors are met, then this would seemingly indicate the existence of parental alienation. You do not need to go at it alone. Through support groups, counseling and legal assistance, you can work to develop a life and legal plan to help your children.